Helen of Joy
WE admit it – we’ve swallowed the Kool-Aid, and we’re not looking to be deprogrammed. We’ve also got plenty of company: the cult of Helen Mirren is the new big thing. Women of all ages are infatuated with the British actress who hits every role out of the park, dresses impeccably and says exactly what she’s thinking – which is unfailingly witty, whip-smart and/or mildly scandalous.
With an Oscar in hand, a new movie, “National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” out next month and fashion accolades in Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar, Mirren is reaching new heights of recognition for something her diehard fans have known for years: She’s a hugely heartening counterpoint to rampant celebrity idiocy.
Her non-Botoxy glamour is part of it, for sure: At 62, she reliably outshines women half her age, while avoiding the tragic plastic-surgery spiral into which many older actresses are drawn.
“She looks her age, like she’s had a really exciting life. She’s attractive without looking phony,” says Jessica Morgan of the fashion blog Go Fug Yourself. “She wears stuff that’s body-conscious, but not sleazy or trying too hard or trashy. She seems to straddle that line of looking age-appropriate without looking dowdy.”
Her talent is, of course, a major factor – Mirren’s been turning in brilliant performances for decades, in movies like “Gosford Park” and “The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover;” in the long-running British TV series “Prime Suspect;” and, of course, in “The Queen,” for which she won the Best Actress Oscar.
(Not to mention the infamous 1980 film “Caligula,” which she has described as “an irresistible mix of art and genitals.”)
But it’s her off-the-cuff commentary that really seals the deal for us Mirren admirers – sorry, Dame Mirren, a highly coveted royal title she rarely mentions.
Lately, the actress has been making one cheeky remark after another to the press; it’s the type of honest, unconventional stuff you always wish celebrities would say but they almost never do. In a world of inarticulate, spotlight-hogging ditzes, Mirren is a hurricane of fresh air.
“I basically loathe all young men, actually,” the actress recently told the Daily Mail, reminiscing about her early dating years in London.
“They start getting better when they’re 25.”
She’s also dished to that paper about her one-time experience with acid in the ’60s: “I thought, ‘That was great, that was wonderful.’ But it was very, very extreme,” she said.
She’s sounded off on those blatantly award-aspirational films in which beautiful actresses uglify themselves for a role: “All you have to do is to look like crap on film, and everyone thinks you’re a brilliant actress,” she’s widely quoted as saying. “Actually, all you’ve done is look like crap.”
And when Morley Safer asked her, on “60 Minutes,” whether she regretted not having kids, she was equally frank: “I am thrilled that I don’t have children – I have the thing I love, which is freedom,” she told him. “It’s a bit of a guilty secret because as a woman, you’re almost expected to be sad if you don’t have children, but that’s bulls – - t. There have always been women who don’t have kids.”
“Helen’s remark about being happy that she didn’t have children struck a chord in me and enlight-ened me to my own feelings,” says a 57-year-old New Yorker named Joan, who asked that her last name not be used. “She’s sexy, talented and real. She’s not afraid to show it off or strip it off. She’s a woman to be reckoned with and a great role model for women, especially those of us over 50.”
It’s not just the middle-age crowd that is responding, though – Mirren’s appeal resonates with women half, even one-third, her age.
“I think she rocks!” says 28-year-old New York designer Mikey Toledano. “She makes me want to be 60.”
“Personally, I find Helen so appealing because she doesn’t come across as the type of woman who puts up with any funny business,” says 19-year-old Londoner Kirsty Quinlan. “She appears to be genuinely comfortable in her own skin, a very refreshing notion in our image-obsessed world. Is she my role model? Absolutely.”
Feminist media gossip site Jezebel is a reliable source of Mirren love, linking to a new item about the actress on a near-weekly basis. A glance through the comments section, known for its snark, reveals an unusually sincere outpouring of adoration:
“Sigh . . . I love her more and more each day.”
“That one quote where she says her bespoke Oscar dress fit her [breasts] like two angel’s hands . . . Instant classic.”
“She is wonderful. The closest I’ve ever been to sending fan mail was after she went on ‘Jonathan Ross’ and talked about her peasant legs.”
“I love her a little bit more every time she talks. Wonder if she’d like to be my cool adopted auntie?”
More Mirren bon mots are on the horizon: Her autobiography, “In the Frame,” came out in the UK recently and is set to be released here in early February.
Of course, nobody’s perfect; even the woman who pulled off the one-two punch of playing both Queen Elizabeths in a year is prone to the occasional dubious movie choice. This year, that honor may go to “National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” the inexplicable sequel to the Nicolas Cage Declaration of Independ-ence-theft action movie.
But we’d put up with just about anything in order to get Mirren out in front of the microphones again, quipping away and leaving her legions of female fans to nurse their girl-crushes anew.
We only wish we could actually present her an award, just to hear what she’d do with the acceptance speech. Especially if it was anything like the one at last year’s BAFTA awards, where Mirren kicked off with a reference to her canine co-stars of “The Queen,” a pack of corgis.
The opening line?
“Thank you, dogs and bitches all!”